Being happy all the time is making me unhappy.  This supposedness that I should be laughing and smiling every day.  Flashing a in-genuine smile when I’d rather be frowning frankly.  Feeling sad and thinking to myself that I shouldn’t be feeling sad, or that in comparison, I have no real reason to feel sad or serious or contemplative and dammnit it’s making me feel MORE SAD! Some days I laugh and joke and smile and connect.  Some days I have a ton of patience and seem to always say the right thing.  And some days I want to wallow in my sadness at my own first world problems. I wanna wail and cry and let Purple Rain be my jam, and I wanna blare it on the radio and feel all the feels! Other days, I want silence and somber.  And THAT’s what makes me feel better.  Feeling my sadness, lets me feel happy again, feeling my anger lets me let go of it! Knowing happiness and light breathes depth into my sadness’s. Sadness breathes depth into my happiness!  And I am, deep.  We are all, deep creatures! Oceans of sadness and happiness, waves of emotion.  Feeling the truth of myself and accepting it, whatever that may be, is what allows me to balance.  Over efforting only to feel more drained afterwards is prolonging my grief, and tiredness. Eagerness and uber energy and excitability on some days helps me really appreciate the grounding I feel on a “down” day.  A grounding I am still learning to access easily.   I don’t just appreciate my sadness, I NEED it!  This fake it till you make it mentality that I used to think was useful is  depriving me of my mental, physical, and spiritual valleys and peaks.  I’m not gonna take it anymore! I’m standing up for myself and honoring my ebbs and flows, ups and downs, peaks and valleys. Be it that they last a day or two weeks, a month or year, a moment or a hour, they are all equally important.  I no longer agree to the societal lesson I’ve been handed, robbing me of my feelings and labeling them good or bad!  Good and bad are relevant terms.  What’s good for me may be bad for you and vice versa, what’s good today may be bad in a month.  What’s the worst in my experience often brings with it the best.  So please, SEE my happy, and SEE me sad.  It does not speak to my unhappiness, but rather my human experience, and for however long,  this is how I may exist with my own permission.   And I will do the same for you! I won’t try and solve your problems or make you laugh when you don’t want to.  I won’t assume you are unhappy in your life because I noticed you were a extra grounded today, and I won’t assume you have you it all figured out because you seemed to be floating when we last united.  I won’t label you a social butterfly or an introvert and forever maintain this expectation of you. What I will do is my best to hold space for whoever you are when we meet, each time and every time.  I will say hi to your higher self from my higher self.  I will honor your truth and trust that you are honoring mine.  Until we meet again, NAMASTE.